It's December 10th
Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.
Today’s Quote:
“At its best, Christmas is a mirror in which we see reflected the very best life can be. Where we see ourselves moved by generosity, inspired by hope, and uplifted by love, not only for ourselves but for the whole evolving universe.”
Bruce Sanguin
Reviews:
Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020, Netflix): 9 to 5 outfit changes for Dolly
This movie was written and produced by our lord and vaccine savior Dolly Parton, and it shows in literally every aspect. It’s a true-blue staged musical with LOTS of choreographed dancing and stars Dolly as both a homeless person AND an angel (makeup stays exactly the same in case you were thinking of doubting Dolly’s commitment) and has a prominent religious tilt that you don’t find in many Netflix Christmas movies.
Personally, once I got used to the singing and dancing (singing in movies began and ended with “The Sound of Music” in my humble opinion) and Dolly got out of her homeless costume, I accepted the movie for what it was and kind of got into it.
As you’d expect, the plot and message is about as subtle as Dolly herself and Christine Baranski is terrific as Regina, the town owner (taking a page from “Schitt’s Creek”) and villain who seeks to sell the town to “Cheetah Mall” (this is real and opens up a lot of questions about the town’s animal control ordinances). Regina played by literally every other living actor besides the Great Meryl herself would be a harsh caricature, but Christine Baranski infuses her with comedy and actual emotional depth.
The townsfolk of this town are all VERY anti-Regina due to the town-selling and are led by Pastor Christian (a follower of Christ, in case you were wondering) to “Resist Regina” and do so by singing about how they want to strangle and murder her (it’s a weird scene). In another scene Regina goes to the town bar to relax and is served by an actual CHILD (who pours a healthy glass of whiskey) and they chatter about feelings and dead mothers, because there is no Christmas without at least one dead mother.
The plot really accelerates in Act II as you learn that Regina’s health could be in jeopardy, she was an original TEEN MOM, and that her assistant (who is seemingly alive) is ALSO an angel-in-training. The dad from “Everwood” plays Regina’s old flame, if thats of interest to anyone. There is also a somewhat gruesome accident scene where there is visible blood on a wounded character and I was very startled considering there is literally no blood in the Hallmark universe, they are all sparkly Cullens living in Forks and dreaming of their very own spider-monkeys.
I’d say this is a movie to watch with your mother, grandmother, or biggest Dolly fan - as I believe they will thoroughly enjoy it. If you are a huge fan of dancing and Jesus I’d also recommend, because this movie has both!
However like most things, this is not Ron Howard’s “How The Grinch Stole Christmas 2: The Martha May Whovier Story”, no matter how hard I wish.
